Have you ever gone out searching for new friends? Perhaps you’re one of the many thousands of people who are looking for a husband or a wife. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place and don’t really know anyone in the area. As adults, how do we meet new people and make new friends? If we’re single and looking for a spouse, how do we go about it? Is there a right way to do it? Is there a wrong way to do it? 

These were some of the thoughts that crossed my mind today when I was reading about the search for Isaac’s wife in Genesis. You can read about this search here in Genesis 24.

Allow me to try and summarize. Abraham was very old and needed to find a wife for his son Isaac. His wife, Sarah had passed away, so Abraham gave the job of finding a wife to his most senior servant. Abraham told the servant he didn’t want Isaac to marry any of the women who lived in the area around them. Instead, he (the servant) was to go back to the land Abraham had come from and find a wife for Isaac there amongst his (Abraham’s) relatives. Abraham made the servant swear to only get a wife for Isaac from the place Abraham sent him to. There were a few other stipulations, like making sure Isaac stayed in the land the Lord had brought them to. For our purposes here today I think I’ve covered the subject well enough. As I’ve said, you can read Genesis 24 for clarification on everything discussed between Abraham and his servant. 

When Abraham’s servant gets to the town of Nahor, in Abraham’s home country, he has choices as to where to look for a wife for his master’s son, Isaac. 

Before I go any further, I want to stop and point out a few things. 

Abraham wanted a wife for his son Isaac. This was the goal he gave to his servant. Abraham had criteria this woman had to meet, and he wasn’t going to compromise on it. The most important of these criteria was that she wasn’t from the land in which Abraham lived. The land of Canaan. The second criterion was for her to be from his home country, and come from his family. For the most part, that was about it. Looks, age, temperament, and such weren’t discussed. Abraham had criteria, and so should we when we’re looking for a new relationship. Whether it be one leading to marriage or one looking for someone with whom we can go hiking. 

When Abraham’s servant reached the town of Nahor he goes to a spring where the townspeople get water to find a wife for Isaac.

See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water.

Genesis 24:13 (NIV)

I’m sure there was someplace less reputable than a spring that Abraham’s servant could have gone to. However, he didn’t go to any such place. Instead, he went to a spring where the hard-working and responsible women went to get water for their families. 

If we’re looking to meet new people, we need to be mindful of where we are looking. When I want to go fishing, I could go to a lake or river. Someplace that has fish. However, not every place that has fish has the type of fish I might want to eat. The river near where I grew up, for example, was very dirty and full of catfish. If I wanted a catfish, then I would fish there. However, when I wanted a nice trout, I went to a lake that had trout. 

I live in Sacramento, and there are people all over. However, not everywhere I go in Sacramento is going to have people I might want to meet. Years ago, before I was saved, if I wanted to meet new people, I’d either meet them playing volleyball on the beach or, more likely, in a nightclub. While I met a lot of people in nightclubs, they never had the quality of the people I met playing volleyball on the beach. 

As Christians, we should be looking for new relationships amongst those who are also Christian. 

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)

While Paul does say elsewhere in 1 Corinthians that a Believer should stay married to their unbelieving husband or wife, he does not advocate the joining of the two if they weren’t previously married, as we can see here in 2 Corinthians (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:14).

Yes, we live in the world. No, we cannot control who we go to school with or who we work with. However, in our spare time, when we are seeking new relationships, we ought to seek those who share the same Spirit. This means there are places we don’t go to whether or not we’re looking for a relationship. It’s bad if we go on our own, and it’s worse if we go looking to meet someone new. 

Let’s take another look at Abraham’s servant and see how well he did.

May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

Genesis 24:14 (NIV)

When Abraham’s servant was waiting by the spring, he was praying to the Lord. That’s what we see here in Genesis 24:12-14.

Abraham’s servant was looking for someone conscientious, courteous, responsible, and kind from Nahor. He wasn’t wasting his time nor disobeying his master, Abraham, by looking in the wrong place. 

When Abraham’s servant sees a woman walking toward the spring, he stops her and asks her for a drink. 

After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.

Genesis 24:19-21 (NIV)

Now, in case you missed it, Abraham’s servant has ten camels and Rebekah has one jar (cf. Genesis 24:10). I’m pretty sure it took more than one jar until all of the camels had enough to drink. However, Rebekah said she was going to water all of the camels until they had enough, so Abraham’s servant watches her seeing if she follows through. 

I’m going to be transparent here. If I had been Abraham’s servant and prayed the same prayer he had prayed, I would probably have made up my mind when Rebekah said she was going to water the camels. When Abraham’s servant asked that the woman offer to water the camels, he was asking the Lord for a sign. However, what he was asking the Lord for wasn’t that she’d offer to water the camels. Sure, it looks like it here, but we can see otherwise because the servant waited to see “whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.” What was the servant looking for? As I’ve already said, someone who was conscientious, courteous, responsible, and kind. Did he ask the Lord for someone like that? No, we don’t see him using those words in his prayer, but God knew what Isaac needed. 

When Abraham wanted a wife for his son Isaac, he asked someone he trusted to go find one for him. He asked someone who knew the Lord and knew how to find someone worthy. Abraham’s servant obeyed his master, but he also had the discernment to look in the right places for the type of person he was looking for. Furthermore, he knew how to communicate with God and then observe what God was doing. Finally, Abraham’s servant courageously closed the deal by asking if Rebekah would consent to marry Isaac.

If we’re looking for a spouse or just new friends, we should know what to look for, and where to look, before we start looking, because there is a right way and a wrong way to do it.

Do you know God? God knows you, and He loves you. He sees you as significant because you are. No one is insignificant to Him. He’s with you today, right now, and He wants you to know Him. Jesus died for your sins and mine so we could be free of guilt, be freed from death, and live eternally with Him. Eternal salvation is just a prayer away. 

Pray this prayer with me to accept the gift of salvation today:

Lord Jesus, forgive me for all my sins. I repent from my ways. Wash me in your blood and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. I believe that you died on the cross, were buried, and on the third day, God the Father raised you from the dead. Right now, Lord Jesus, I open the door to my heart, and I receive you into my heart as my Lord and personal Savior. Amen.

If you prayed that prayer, then congratulations! You are on the first step of a brand new life. Allow me to be the first to welcome you to my family, the family of God. There are abundant resources available online for new Christians. You can visit here for more information on what to do next. You can also leave me a comment, and I’ll do my best to help you on the next step of this incredible journey.

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