Tag Archive: office


Shadow Work

skittering
the dashboard-
scarlet scenes,
bumper to
bumper.

Eleven o’clock
meeting, willows
whisper.

Forgotten fields
tumble, through
cubicle walls.

Ridges rumble,
during calls.

Crawling home,
finally-
alone.

Pen to paper,
dry,
as
bone.

I work in an office. Highly irregular I know, but there it is out in the open. Often times food shows up in the office without plates, and I see people walk up to the food in gleeful anticipation ready to partake of the delicious free food only to stop, look around and then leave in disappointment. See, I work in an office. I don’t work in a kitchen nor do I have a kitchen in the office. Highly irregular I know, but there it is, out in the open.

One of the drawbacks of not having a kitchen in the office is we typically don’t store dishes. However, there is always someone with an over abundance of ketchup packets in their desk that date back to the days when KFC actually served chicken. If there is ever a ketchup shortage don’t come to my office because I have dibs on that ketchup. While we lack conventional dishes in my office we do have several giant knives in case an impromptu knife fight breaks out or perhaps they are for cutting birthday cakes. I think the knives could go either way. However, for all of the ketchup and knives in the office we do have that plate shortage I mentioned I know, it’s odd.

When the delicious free food shows up people will resort to using paper towels, pieces of paper, their bare hands or whatever else they can think of to get some of that free food. I must also point out that, despite being an office without a kitchen, there are an alarming number of people who, for some reason, seem to have an extra fork or two just sitting around. Thus, when the delicious free food appears there are people with forks using some sort of a replacement for a plate. I imagine that the plate lobbyists are behind this notion that we need plates to eat on. Interesting though that people are able to eat fast food without a plate. Hmmm.

Anyway, I have a bowl that sits in the drawer next to my desk. When the delicious free soup comes around everyone else will be out of luck, but I will have my bowl. I have had pizza bowls, cake bowls, lasagna bowls and what not. If it can go on a plate it can go into a bowl. I am not bound by the chains of plate addiction! I have freed myself from those shackles and, while not as great as wearing no pants to work, it’s very liberating to not be bound by the need for a plate. Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly daring, I’ll use a coffee cup. You should see the plater’s looks when I do that.

Life 101

Greedy Gus
is on the move.
Gathering
disciples,
gullible
graspers,
gaining
nothing.

Towers that fall,
monuments to,
false
idols, of
ethereal
wealth,
that lies,
beyond-
this
ninety nine.

Hollow
hearts
held,
captive.
Meaningless!

Chasing
wind, while
closing,
always
be
closing.

Eyes,
to those,
covered rags,
you pass by
on your
way,
to your
Rolls.

Overheard at work

The following snippet of conversation was overheard recently at the office.  It’s amazing what people think you can’t hear when you wear headphones all day.

My boss:  How are you doing?

Co-worker: Fine.

My boss:  Really, how are you coping with your situation?

Co-worker: Some days are easier than others.

My boss:  So, you know, the company offers free counseling sessions.  You should check it out with HR.

Co-worker:  I know.  I am fine.

My boss:  Someone mentioned you said something about an AK-47?

Co-worker: They have a distinctive sound when fired.

My boss: Err, what?

Co-worker: It’s the sturdiest assault rifle in the world.

My boss: Um, did you say something about bringing one into work?

Co-worker: No-

My boss: Good-

Co-worker: an AK-47 wouldn’t fit in my car.

My boss:  O.K. Don’t bring it up again at work.

Co-worker: An M-16 would.  It’s lighter.