God tells us that He does the impossible. He tells us that nothing is impossible for us who believe. He tells us, almost commands and dares us to dream impossible dreams and give them up to Him. (Matthew 17:20)  He tells us that we’re going to do even greater things than Jesus. (John 14:12-14)  He tells us that He’s going to do things that we wouldn’t believe, even if someone told us (Acts 13:41). He tells us that we can’t imagine the things that He can and will do in our lives. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Therefore, isn’t it Biblical to pray, wait, be still, and wait upon Him to do the impossible? Allow me this indulgence, to share with you, a short testimony of mine.

There was a time, before I knew God, that I would write and write everyday. I had so much to write about that my head was overflowing with words. I would write down pages of lines so I wouldn’t forget. Each line contained an entire poem, like an unwrapped gift, that when I went to the line, the words poured into my skull.

One day, after a terrible, self-inflicted tragedy, the words were gone. My mind was almost silent. When I had all those words, I believed that it wasn’t me supplying them. I didn’t know where the thoughts came from nor how I saw what I saw. However, all of that love, beauty, and anguish for humanity, couldn’t be coming from me. Those weren’t my eyes.

After that tragic day, I could still see and write of beauty, love, humanity and creation. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t pouring into me, overflowing. I thought I had lost “it.”

Years passed and I came to know the Lord. I returned to University, wrote beyond what I could see, knowing I was guided. However, the poetry, the beauty, the sight that compelled me to write, wasn’t there any more.

I would read what I had written before and it was like the words had been plucked from the heart of God. I had never read a Bible or gone to church. However, I was writing of Biblical love, writing of being weak but strong in weakness. That’s where Weak comes from.

I realized that, the force inside me, flowing into me, before I knew God, was the Holy Spirit flowing into me. However, I couldn’t handle it.  I left that out. All those words, all that feeling I felt before brought pain, confusion and anguish that was tearing me apart. I was a 120 volt plug with 220 volts running through me.

Earlier this year; I started writing again with the passion that I once had. It didn’t take very long before my writing, that was once done, in a flurry of tapping without understanding; was now being done in a purposeful and orderly manner. Often, just out of faith. Sitting down, like I used to, at Remington, a stack of blank paper on my left, inserting a page, and pouring out the words that filled me, while the stack on the left got lower, and a stack, like the towel of Babel, rose on my right.

Except, that’s not what happened earlier this year. It’s what I wanted to happen. I sat down, with Remington, a stack of paper on my left, inserted a blank page, and sat there. Waiting for the words. I knew that they were there, my heart pumped, blood rushing through my body, I could feel the words, wanting to pour, like water, onto the page. I knew they were there. No idea of what they were. I prayed, I told God, you’re the same, today, yesterday and tomorrow. The same Holy Spirit that gave me the words before is still there. I know they are there.

Waiting… I would have an idea, a vision, some sight, a whisper, out of the corner of my eye, of what to write. I’d write down a line, then another line, until the words were pouring out of me, bleeding all over the page, a new creation. This was a slow process. The stack on the right didn’t rise any more like any sort of tower, more like a few clumps of dirt that, by happen stance, fell onto one another. Yet, the spark was there.

My writing is different now. The process is different. I still write a lot. When I see how many new works have been written, I am amazed. Yet, it’s not like it was.

So, there’s that thing. That dream, that impossible thing that I never thought would come back. Did come back, better than before. It came back sanctified. Thus, when I’m dreaming now, after having seen the impossible. The writing, that’s one small impossible thing. I’ve seen so many others. I expect the impossible from God because He delivers.

Do you see the paradox? I dream the impossible, because God tells me that he can do the impossible through me. Nothing is impossible. When I believe, and I do. So, when my image of what He is doing and going to do, doesn’t come to pass. It’s crushing disappointment.

That’s when He tells me, “trust in Me, trust that I will do it; you can hope and have faith and believe. I expect it. However, don’t put your hope into that dream. Put your hope into Me. I cannot fail. I will not fail. You, however, will never figure Me out. If I do reveal to you how I’m going to do something. Take it to the bank. However, never lean on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I love you and will always do what I said I would do.”

That’s where love comes in. Remember? Hope, faith, and love, but the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13), because God is love and He loves you. He will never fail you.

Again, we have part of an answer. Most of the answer, as I understand, in my limited understanding. However, I have a few more, “Whys?” that keep poking me in the side.

At the present time, I have impossible hope and faith in God, who loves me and will never fail. He reminds me that, it’s all in the timing and, for next time, we’ll have a short discussion on His timing.