Tag Archive: Non-Fiction

You have hope, faith, trust and you know without a doubt that “it’s” going to come to pass! The time comes and blammo! It’s here! What you prayed, waited and thanked God for has come to pass. Let the praise and celebration continue! You were thanking God before it happened on the day, right? We’ve already discussed Biblical faith, so we know that what we’ve asked for has already happened, even if we don’t see it yet. Maybe you didn’t start celebrating until it happened. That’s okay. There’s grace, mercy and no condemnation in Christ, so you’ll get none from me. We’re all on our own journey with God, and we grow in accordance to His timing.

It’s celebration time! God is good, He does what He says He’s going to do. If you’re like me, or the woman in Luke 15:8-10 who lost and then found that coin; you’re telling everybody! Your faith is flying high and you know, if you wanted to, you could tell that mountain to move, and it would, but people live up there, and you like people, so you check yourself.

Then the phone rings, you get a text, a huge dark cloud takes a sharp left, stops right over your head and just dumps on you. That business deal; they changed their mind, your aunt, with cancer; the test results were wrong and she’s not in remission. That hope just comes crashing down into bitter disappointment. It’s worse than that. You told a bunch of people! You’re a Christian and what are they going to say? You don’t even know what to say. You weren’t hoping in the thing. You know you weren’t. You read this series, and God opened your eyes. You know better.

I was in the middle of writing this part in this series when God gave me the chance to walk the walk.

I was given the grace to respond by telling more people about the success to come and share my faith and hope in God.

God’s timing is perfect. It’s usually not, however, in the time that we expect it to be. When we walk in His timing and allow Him to guide our paths, He does far more with our obedience than we could ever imagine. If you’re reading this then it’s because God brought you here. It’s not because of great SEO optimization or because this blog has hundreds or thousands of followers. That’s just the way this blog is, for now.

You’ve may have heard it said that, “everything happens for a reason.” I usually hear people say that when they have nothing else to say. I know that I’m guilty of having been that person at one time or another in my life. However, now, I know, that there is, indeed, a time for everything, and I am encouraged by this knowledge.

What about the “hope” and “faith” that appears to fail?

My best friend died, of cancer, in 2011. He didn’t have cancer when we first started meeting, journaling, praying and sharing life together. I will call him, “Joe.”

Joe and I had been going to the same church for several years. We church chatted often, but church chat is merely another means of small talk that goes nowhere, if we’re being honest. Joe married later in his life, he was forty-five, and needed counseling. Our pastor put us together.

After several months of meeting, I noticed that Joe had a bad cough. It was nothing to worry about, he assured me, he had been given antibiotics for it and had just finished the 10 day cycle.  I explained how antibiotics were supposed to work and suggested he go back to his doctor.

Joe called me first. The doctor told him that he had cancer. A non tobacco form of cancer in his lungs. It wasn’t a big deal for us. His wife, Nancy, didn’t take it quite so easily. She blamed him for the cancer. We started meeting more often, my wife, Joe, Nancy and I. A lot of healing took place in their marriage. It became stronger than it had previously been. All of us grew stronger as the cancer spread throughout Joe’s body.

Joe was a paragon of strength. In spite of the chemotherapy, the presence of cancer in his brain and his body, which was trying to fail him. He walked upright and bold. My dear friend, a true Man of God. In spite of the spread of the cancer, he and I never saw him as getting worse. We still met as we did before. He went to his first Men’s Retreat. He was getting better. He was healed and we knew it. We rejoiced and thanked God for his healing.

We were living like we had before the cancer, Joe and me. We even missed our first meeting in January of 2011, the new year. We usually would call and confirm, every week. We were like that, he and I. I thought nothing of it. He and Nancy probably went away to visit their new home up in Northern California for the weekend. It was a Tuesday, when I got the call. I thought it was Joe, and I was excited to hear about his New Year’s.

I was surprised, when I answered the phone, walking into the house, to hear my pastor’s voice. I expected to hear about the next day’s evening meeting, anything. Anything but, “I’m sorry Jason, Joe passed away this weekend.” That was when I first encountered the strength of my faith, as I almost collapsed onto the floor, catching myself on the love seat nearby, as my wife gasped, crying out, “are you okay?”

I told my pastor, that was impossible. God had healed Joe. He couldn’t be dead. And besides, after he had spent one night in the hospital, without telling me, I made him promise to call me if he had to go back to the hospital. That was months ago. He couldn’t be dead.

He was though, and he has been for the last eight years. I knew my faith that day. The strength of believing the impossible. The knowledge of hope and faith failing. No one understood my pain. My selfish pain. I held it close and tried to explain, but no one heard. I was assured that Joe was healed, and I had no doubt that he was healed. It was all about me.

Somehow, I didn’t have enough faith, because Joe died. I didn’t blame God. I blamed myself. As I continued in ministry, I pushed all that pain down, so far down. All of that grief. I was a Christian. I couldn’t be that way. God’s timing.

The church had seminars, meetings and visitations from other pastors. I attended meetings elsewhere. Apparently, leadership is hard. We experience so much pain, so much grief, that we bottle it up and one day, it breaks us, if we don’t let it out. I was fine. I was a rock.

Another friend died, others moved away, life went on. My youngest went on to college and my wife left with him. I was a rock until, one day, I shattered. I walked away from the church. I had no faith in people. People were hypocrites. Faith and hope, they fail. Why did we pray for people to be healed? They just died. Little Daisy, not even six, she died too. If Heaven was better, then why not pray for people to just die? Faith and hope, they failed me.

I couldn’t trust people anymore, but I stayed reading my Bible, praying and believing. Quite paradoxical, I think. Except that it was my faith, my hope that failed. It was me. Not God.

I got very sick in 2016 and despite being in pain all the time; I moved to Sacramento in 2018; where I believed that God was calling me. To be healed. To serve. To live. I was healed, and God explained to me, even though He didn’t have to, why Joe died so many years ago. If you’ve not been bored to tears by now, I’ll tell you, in the next part, why Joe died and how God’s timing is perfect.


Welcome back sports fans! If you’re just tuning in then I suggest taking a gander at “Precious Hope – Breaking News – Part 3a”, since this is a deviation of a continuation of this series on hope and faith.

In “Precious Hope – Believing the Impossible – Part Three” we ended with a note regarding God’s timing. We’ll continue with that in the next part of this series.

My car was fixed today! The check engine light has been banished into the darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth. The grand total charge for this repair, as can be seen in the picture below is zero dollars.


Yes, that’s right $0.0 dollars for the following:

  1. Fixing a loose wire that could have caused any sort of ruckus.
  2. Replacing a part that is essential to the smooth operating of the car.
  3. A complete check out of all of my car’s systems.
  4. Checking and topping off the oil.
  5. Hours of labor including a 12 mile test drive throughout the city of Sacramento.

Those are the tangible things that we can see that our hard earned zero dollars bought us through this journey. If we only looked at those and stopped that would be amazing! Don’t you think? What mechanic will go to such lengths for a “regular” customer who was last there in April of 2018? I’ve built relationships with mechanics and become friends and still rarely got much a break on work.

We know though, that God cares more about us than his car. During the course of the last several days I’ve been able to minister to:

  1. The people who work at the shop where I took the car. I spent enough time in the shop to see that people don’t like hearing bad news, and when they do, the bearer of that bad news usually gets an ear full. I was calm and took everything in stride, knowing that my God knew what He was doing. This was God working in me.
  2. The friends and family who gave me rides. I thank God that I could be so calm, and be in His Peace, during this time. I thank Him even more that people who don’t know Him got to see this.
  3. Anu, the Uber driver, from India, (#2 in stats) who asked me what I did for living. We were able to discuss my writing and our views on this world in which we live. In addition, we spoke of God’s love and our mutual desire for humanity to realize that we’re all the same, and we should stop killing one another. I may have also obtained another follower.
  4. You folks. As I mentioned in part 3a, how interesting that in the middle of this discussion on hope, faith and God’s timing that this issue would surface.
  5. Myself. You can do that, you know? Isn’t that awesome? The spiritual battle that you fight everyday is up to you to battle. You have to make the choice to seek God. You have to decide, am I going to let this get me down, or am I going to lift myself up? King David did it in 1 Samuel 30:6.

That’s only in the course of the last three days. There will be a testimony this Sunday regarding God’s faithfulness and the importance of believing Truth over reality. I’ll address that in another article. In short, reality may be that I have no money in my bank account; while the Truth is God’s Word that tells me that He will supply all my needs. Philippians 4:19.

In tune with this series; I’m still sticking with God’s timing being perfect. He’s increased my faith and, who knows, perhaps someone I’ve spoken to, needed to hear this? Perhaps you, reading this right now, needs to know that He will work out any problem that you have in your life. Just because He loves you.

For the curious, and because I appreciate God letting me drive His car. Here’s a picture of it.

Car sunset

I’ll see you all when Part Four is done. In the meantime, Don’t Stop Believin’ !

If you’ve just joined the party, we’ve been discussing hope and why it fails. That’s not quite true. We’ve actually branched out from hope to faith as well. Rather than bore you with this testimony within the current series, I’ve deviated a bit, hence the “3a” to this breaking news on hope and faith. Will they fail or not?

Allow me, if you will, to share what I’m going through as I write this. The great state of California requires that cars be emission tested every two years. My car is due to be registered this week and my check engine light came on a couple of weeks ago. My car is due for a smog test as well. A car will not pass a smog test with a check engine light on.

Now, this is a really small issue in the grand scheme of things. Actually, most of our issues are small in the grand scheme. However, if you’re on a tight budget then something like a car repair can be a big headache. Add to that, the increased price in registration and you might be squirming a little bit. I’m self-employed, and I don’t know when my next “pay check” will be coming. I have credit cards that I don’t and will not use. I rely upon the omniscience of God, and good stewardship, to financially prepare me for unexpected issues.

The car is running fine and has been running fine. I take care of this car. After all, it’s God’s car, not mine. However, that light came on, and it’s the same light that came on last year when I first moved to Sacramento. Apparently, it didn’t stay fixed.

I looked into the issue, since I know the code, and what it could possibly be. I prayed about trying to fix it myself. However, I was pointed back to where I took it the first time. Something I would not have done before I was a Christian. However, I don’t ask for help from God and then ignore Him.

I take the car in and get told that, since they worked on it last year, in April. April of 2018. That they are just going to check the code and see if the repair they did needed a “re-work.” Can you believe that? All I did was tell them that I had brought in to them last year for the same issue. The records are in their computer. No accusations, etc. Just the facts, ma’am.

I get a call a few hours later telling me that my car is ready to be picked up. It was a loose wire, and they aren’t going to charge me anything for their work.

I pick up the car and on the way home, the light pops up. Now, here I’ve been praising the Lord, contacted a few friends to tell them the good news, and this light is staring me in the face.

Like distant rain clouds approaching, I could feel, in a moment, the disappointment coming. A spiritual attack. However, at that same moment, I remembered this series, and what the Lord has said to me about hope and faith. I stood on what I believe. Therefore, I said, “Nope, the Lord’s got this covered! Praise God!” My spirit still flying high in faith, I pulled over and called the shop.

After taking the car in again today and waiting for about an hour, I was told it was fixed. A part from the previous work was replaced under warranty with no charge. Wow!

Now, I have to confess, this all sounds too good to be true, but here it is. The power of faith in action.

I drove home, parked the car for about thirty minutes and got up to run an errand. The check engine light came back on within the first mile. I know, right? Pulling over, I called the shop, again. I’ll be taking my car back in tomorrow, and they’re going test drive it and check sensors, etc. I expect the issue to be the issue that I thought it was in the first place.

Now, why is this not fixed? I’ve been giving thanks to God for fixing the issue before it was ever taken in. Why did it get fixed in a such, “God” fashion, twice, at no charge? I mean, really, a mechanic not charging for at least two hours of work? If you didn’t believe in God before, then you ought to now. I have a few ideas about, “why?”

  1. God is showing me my heart. He’s showing me that I’ve grown from the guy who got discouraged when hope “failed” to a guy who knows that his hope is in God, who never fails.
  2. I’m writing this article, and it’s poignant to what is happening in my life today.
  3. The other two issues that have been fixed were real issues with the car that hadn’t caused any problems, yet. Think about it. Did you think? I’ve had my car fixed now, twice, before anything bad happened, for free. God knew that there were these issues even when I didn’t.
  4. This testimony has gone from another “money” testimony, which is great, to a testimony about my faith growing, which is far greater.

I know you’ll all be waiting with baited breath for the results of this little test of faith. In the meantime, I’m going back to part four of this series. It’s interesting though, don’t you think, that we’re going to be discussing, among other things, God’s timing, and how it relates to hope and faith, and then this issue pops up?

God tells us that He does the impossible. He tells us that nothing is impossible for us who believe. He tells us, almost commands and dares us to dream impossible dreams and give them up to Him. (Matthew 17:20)  He tells us that we’re going to do even greater things than Jesus. (John 14:12-14)  He tells us that He’s going to do things that we wouldn’t believe, even if someone told us (Acts 13:41). He tells us that we can’t imagine the things that He can and will do in our lives. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Therefore, isn’t it Biblical to pray, wait, be still, and wait upon Him to do the impossible? Allow me this indulgence, to share with you, a short testimony of mine.

There was a time, before I knew God, that I would write and write everyday. I had so much to write about that my head was overflowing with words. I would write down pages of lines so I wouldn’t forget. Each line contained an entire poem, like an unwrapped gift, that when I went to the line, the words poured into my skull.

One day, after a terrible, self-inflicted tragedy, the words were gone. My mind was almost silent. When I had all those words, I believed that it wasn’t me supplying them. I didn’t know where the thoughts came from nor how I saw what I saw. However, all of that love, beauty, and anguish for humanity, couldn’t be coming from me. Those weren’t my eyes.

After that tragic day, I could still see and write of beauty, love, humanity and creation. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t pouring into me, overflowing. I thought I had lost “it.”

Years passed and I came to know the Lord. I returned to University, wrote beyond what I could see, knowing I was guided. However, the poetry, the beauty, the sight that compelled me to write, wasn’t there any more.

I would read what I had written before and it was like the words had been plucked from the heart of God. I had never read a Bible or gone to church. However, I was writing of Biblical love, writing of being weak but strong in weakness. That’s where Weak comes from.

I realized that, the force inside me, flowing into me, before I knew God, was the Holy Spirit flowing into me. However, I couldn’t handle it.  I left that out. All those words, all that feeling I felt before brought pain, confusion and anguish that was tearing me apart. I was a 120 volt plug with 220 volts running through me.

Earlier this year; I started writing again with the passion that I once had. It didn’t take very long before my writing, that was once done, in a flurry of tapping without understanding; was now being done in a purposeful and orderly manner. Often, just out of faith. Sitting down, like I used to, at Remington, a stack of blank paper on my left, inserting a page, and pouring out the words that filled me, while the stack on the left got lower, and a stack, like the towel of Babel, rose on my right.

Except, that’s not what happened earlier this year. It’s what I wanted to happen. I sat down, with Remington, a stack of paper on my left, inserted a blank page, and sat there. Waiting for the words. I knew that they were there, my heart pumped, blood rushing through my body, I could feel the words, wanting to pour, like water, onto the page. I knew they were there. No idea of what they were. I prayed, I told God, you’re the same, today, yesterday and tomorrow. The same Holy Spirit that gave me the words before is still there. I know they are there.

Waiting… I would have an idea, a vision, some sight, a whisper, out of the corner of my eye, of what to write. I’d write down a line, then another line, until the words were pouring out of me, bleeding all over the page, a new creation. This was a slow process. The stack on the right didn’t rise any more like any sort of tower, more like a few clumps of dirt that, by happen stance, fell onto one another. Yet, the spark was there.

My writing is different now. The process is different. I still write a lot. When I see how many new works have been written, I am amazed. Yet, it’s not like it was.

So, there’s that thing. That dream, that impossible thing that I never thought would come back. Did come back, better than before. It came back sanctified. Thus, when I’m dreaming now, after having seen the impossible. The writing, that’s one small impossible thing. I’ve seen so many others. I expect the impossible from God because He delivers.

Do you see the paradox? I dream the impossible, because God tells me that he can do the impossible through me. Nothing is impossible. When I believe, and I do. So, when my image of what He is doing and going to do, doesn’t come to pass. It’s crushing disappointment.

That’s when He tells me, “trust in Me, trust that I will do it; you can hope and have faith and believe. I expect it. However, don’t put your hope into that dream. Put your hope into Me. I cannot fail. I will not fail. You, however, will never figure Me out. If I do reveal to you how I’m going to do something. Take it to the bank. However, never lean on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6) I love you and will always do what I said I would do.”

That’s where love comes in. Remember? Hope, faith, and love, but the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13), because God is love and He loves you. He will never fail you.

Again, we have part of an answer. Most of the answer, as I understand, in my limited understanding. However, I have a few more, “Whys?” that keep poking me in the side.

At the present time, I have impossible hope and faith in God, who loves me and will never fail. He reminds me that, it’s all in the timing and, for next time, we’ll have a short discussion on His timing.